The Cigarette Diaries II
70
The Beginning
The Bishop city noon siren just blared, meaning it's been 5 waking hours since I last smoked a cigarette. I'll not count sleep since that seems like cheating. HELL YEAH! Pardon my outburst, but I am mighty proud of myself and don't care if it seems premature. Five hours is an eternity to a 3 pack a day smoker, and I am sailing along quite well, thank you very much.
The day began in the usual way: shower, coffee, taking hubby to work. Then it was time for some ingenuity, since boredom was in close pursuit. Okay, how about a car wash? Now that would make sense, would it not? Cleanliness, Godliness, and no more ashes flying about? And not some do-it-yourself car wash, mind you, but a job done for you while you watch in superior yet silent assessment. Not to say I was tending towards criticism, I wasn't, but the chairs were placed so that customers had no choice but to watch their personal property primped and polished. It was a blast, and a job well done. Nice.
Of
By Jove, I've made it to 2 p.m. I must sound a tad full of myself, but I think you'll understand. If you don't, then please visit my first installment called "The Tobacco Diaries I."
Here's the link:
hubpages.com/hub/The-Tobacco-Diaries
I wrote that 2 days ago, and believe me, I was fighting this quit business. I smoked all the more considering a world yet again without my addiction to depend on. Now, of course, my chest hurts like hell, my throat's afire, and well, the cough rivals my husband's. He's also quitting, by the way, so when he comes home sparks may fly. Just teasing, we're actually the best of friends and chose to do this thing together.
---------------------------------
Pardon my absence, but hubby has returned from his 7 to 4 and-gasp-smoked 1/2 of a cigarette while at work. Certainly you recognize him up there in this hub; he's the guy with one eye. Well, at least he's honest. Poor guy, I can't imagine working around the hardcore sorts he does while trying to quit. He manages a recycling center which is obviously a stinky outdoor job where everyone and his daddy comes to smoke.
I suppose I have the luxury of controlling my working environment-my home. I write here most days and can cater to my every domestic whim, including smoking cessation. Just after I inhaled my last fag around 11 p.m. last night, I gathered up all my smoking paraphernalia and put in out to the curb. I woke up to a very changed home, I must say.
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The End
Yes, I'd say this is an end of sorts. An end to my lover, my best pal, something always ready and willing to please. From the other hubs I've written on the subject, you may be hesitant to believe me, and I don't blame you one bit. But hey, I'm sick of smelling, of being, dirty. Smoking's a living hell.
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Due to life, I was unable to complete this on day one. IT'S DAY TWO!!! I survived. Nary a puff, not even a butt. But, they say this week is the hardest, which I know is true from my experience last summer. I'm astounded by watching my fellow man smoking out in public-I watch 'em like a hawk. I used to look that way. Easily and greedily sucking down those vapors. It felt so damned good. Shit, I'll miss that.
That Was Cute, But One More Thing
Chantix is manufactured by Pfizer, as I mentioned in my first Tobacco diary. I also mentioned a support system they offer called the "GetQuit" program. I do not recommend it. It appears Pfizer is conducting data collection via the folks who sign up. I have never spoken to such robotic people in my life. AND they transfer you endlessly to one expert, then another. After 30 minutes of this yesterday, I told them my phone was dying and hung up. It appears their main interest is quoting the disclaimers found on the box, and gathering personal information.
But, hell, the pill IS working, so it doesn't matter much to me. I do wish there were actual human beings to talk me through cravings, but I'll go elsewhere.
Or I'll smoke.
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Thanks, my friend! Not many folks have shown up for the second part, but that's okay, at least my hands are busy! Yes, indeedy, my car smells like a rose!
Green Lotus, again, thank you.
Im here . .. is it true what they say that your sense of smell is heightened? Good for you that you are doing this . health aside . .the damn price of these things is going to kill me before the butts do! WTG;)
I really haven't noticed that yet-but I'll let you know if it does!
Yep, my wallet is about $30.00 fatter since Monday...not bad when you add the days!
Thanks for stopping by!
$30 bucks has to feel good! Just being done with it is going to feel great.
Thanks, lalesu. Wow, maybe I'll be rich and alive one day! :)
Great Job! I ran out of cigarettes Sunday night, and just decided not to buy any more. I have the electronic ones but they're not the same. I was a 3 pack a day smoker at my worst, but was down to about a pack a day when I quit. Good luck to you, and to me. Not I know why the patch never worked for me! There's 599 things in there besides nicotine! I'll send you the article.
Oh, so THAT'S what the 'link' was about. TRY CHANTIX, Faybe-I swear, this is my 3rd day, and other than mild behavioral things-like WTF am I supposed to do other than smoke?-I am really not uncomfortable at all!
But make sure everybody around you knows about it, cause it does cause weird dreams and other serious stuff. Aww, hell, if you do try it, there are so many disclaimers on the box it'll drive you nuts! My biggest issue is the expense, even with insurance.
Anyway, go for it, girl-I know it's been done cold turkey, but I sure need help!!!
ALL the best!
I'm interested in this process! I'm remembering what I went through - (was around some smokers, which made it very hard) and I think what happened was as long as it was something "new" I was great - it started getting hellish when the newness wore off and I was running out of things to occupy me. I made some gorgeous beaded butterfly necklaces then because that totally occupied my mind and hands. Get a hobby, girl! How is your hubby doing with this - giving you lots of love and attention and very happy about everything smelling good and you smelling good etc? Also, a new hairdo and manicure is always nice. You gotta reward yourself! Good going L - I'm knowing just how you feel! a little scarey ain't it!
Ah, mega-hussy-you're a doll! Damn if I don't know exactly what you're saying. Did the hair thing the first day, car wash the second, now it's the third, and maybe, just maybe I'll try knitting or something. I am no crafty girl at all, but I used to knit, so why not?
I also may take a drive as far up the Sierras as possible. Most of the roads are still closed, but that would be cool.
My hubby is still cheating, but only one a day-he says. So, that's okay with me. He's not smoking here, which is the big thing.
Love you, sweet friend!
PS: Come on over to RedGage, there are plenty of hubbers over there, join in!!
Well done Lorlie:)
Good luck. My husband quit 4 years ago from smoking for 44 years. He started at age 14. He struggled, used patches, chewed on coffee stirers (a lot), ate butterscotch hard candy, brushed his teeth after eating and was still a little ornery now and then. But he made this time. It wasn't his first try. I hope you make it too. Best of luck.
Laurel - you are one tough and lovely lady. I admire you so much and I'm just wishing you all the best in this new phase of your life. I know you're going to make it, and not just make it but get through everything with flying colours!
Go for it!
Love and peace
Tony
Thanks, itakins-it seems to be working!
Pamela-thanks for sharing about your hubby! I'm chewing on sliced oranges and carrots. It's working so far!
Tony-I am going to make this happen. It's crazy hard, but I'm determined. Thanks for your comments!
My dear lorlie, I'll begin my journey tomorrow. No chantix, no patch, no gum. We can be distant "quit buddies".
Okey dokey, Jane. I'm managing, though today has been a bitch. I'll write you.
There is another hubber who is also kicking the habit! Good for you! You go girl! :D
I think we should start a club-health seems to be in the air, AE!
a great journey to thread my friend lorlie6. I wish you the best and I congratulate you as well. More power. Keep up the great enthusiasm you have.
Congratulations lorlie! Keeping a journal of your progress (and sharing it) is a great idea! I had a similar thought, but only did one hub re the first day. The sense of smell (for me) came back quickly, but a little bit at a time, This week I'm noticing an improvement in taste.
I highly recommend drinking water, going outside to take a few deep breaths, and taking short walks - all to help combat cravings and to help remind yourself what you are gaining by quitting.
Gaining WEIGHT!! Just teasing, Rafini-I'm not eating as much as my hubby is, and actually haven't felt too much need to constantly eat. Thank heavens.
But, I think taste has come back first for me. There aren't any flowers in bloom yet or I'd be smelling up a storm! I'll surely let you know.
Congrats on your quit...how long now?
I'm finding I have to keep busy constantly to keep myself occupied! Deep breaths are the best, though, because your body needs those rather than smoke!!!
Ah, Teresa-almost missed you up there! The enthusiasm is probably anxiety run rampant, but that's okay!
Whatever works!
I am so glad lorlie, I have never tasted cigarette and HUGS, Keep on, write at HP if you feel like smoking hehe, Take care, Maita
I quit 2 weeks 4 days ago. I noticed the smells first, such as the smell of dirt when I took my walks outside, the smell of cigarette smoke lingering in the air in certain places (such as the Job Center) and the yummy smell of breads and such whenever I drive by the bakery - the aroma of fresh baked goods lingers in my car until I'm about 1/2 mile away rather than as soon as I drive passed the building.
And may I add, congratulations you will be a mama twice soon in September, am happy for you, Maita
Maita-you're so sweet to come by! I must correct you, though, in your 2nd comment-I'm going to be a grandma, not a mama!!! I got to thinking when I saw what you said, though, and you know, I would really love to have a baby again, but I'm past that part of my life...this is the next best thing!
Rafini-some of us DO come back to read responses to our comments!!! I thought I was the only one...anyway-you know, I'll never forget the exact day, either! You're doing fantastically! AND you've got me on a mission to find a bakery!
Do you still feel the 'waves' of desire to smoke?
Oh, you friends mean so very much to me at this time, especially. THANK YOU!
Lorlie, Sorry I was misinterpreted hehe, I said mama twice meaning I ought to say two levels second descendants hehe,
Take care, I dropped by to cheer you up, Maita
Thanks, Pretty! Your sweet face always cheers me up, and now I see what you meant about 2nd descendants. You know, I'm beginning to think this Chantix stuff is making me kind of spacey. I apologize, my friend!
I'm glad your doing well on diaries 2. See link below:
www.gosmokefree.co.uk
Let me know if you would like the Kit. I don't mind ordering it and sending it to you.
Best Wishes.
I'll have to take a look later this afternoon! You're very kind to offer whatever it is. :)
I'll get back to you, my friend!
Laurel
Keep up the good work, I know it must be a terrible ordeal, but you are sure to start seeing some benefits soon. (you should keep a ledger of how much money you are saving by not buying 3 packs a day. How much is a pack anyway?
When is your surgery?
A pack is around $5.00, Rochelle. So, if I smoked say, 2 packs a day, that would be $10-; after 7 days, $70 bucks! I smoked more than that, so add a couple of dollars and that's fabulous!!! Dang, almost $100! Hadn't really thought about the cost yet. Thanks for asking.
Surgery's on May 12th. I'm getting prepared, and quitting smoking is the best thing I can possibly do.
Thanks, Rochelle, for coming by.
Laurel,
I am so proud of you and I know your mother would be also. You will make it, if you want it bad enough. Just keep those fingers busy typing :~)
I am still praying for ya,
Bill
Yes-- please hang in there. The monetary cost is pretty substantial-- but better health is the real bonus. My thoughts are with you (and mega1-- and all the others) too.
Thanks so much, Bill! I do want it and know she's smiling.
Rochelle-it seems to be a trend around here; I'm writing to another hubber as her 'quit buddy!'
I appreciate your words ever so much!
Hang in there, lady! It will be worth it in the end. YHou know I'm thinking of you!
Love and peace
Tony
Ahh, thanks Tony! It's my 10th day with nary a puff. Thanks for your words, my friend!
Had to come back to congratulate you again and say keep up the good work. Maybe gardening would be the good hobby for you! somehow I can picture you nurturing little flowers and veggies! and its the right time of year to get started.
mega-you're a doll, and I do love gardening. I am plotting my posies as we speak!
Thanks, hon-it's day 11!!!
Hey Lorlie. Just dropped by to say hello. Your a stronger person than I, just can't seem to quit. Reading all the comments, you have a lot of support, and your doing a fantastic job. All the best!
Thanks for the FM. Ciao.
Thanks so much, Jai. I am amazed that I am on day 11. I appreciate you stopping by!
Amazing work
Thanks, warrioRR-day 12 commences!!!
Just checking on your progress, dear lady. Looks like you're still persevering! Good for you! I also wanted to say thank you for always stopping by my page to leave such kind comments. They truly mean so much to me.
Thank you, lalesu! I am having some tough times, but I am persevering. Thanks for the lovely words.
love this diary, keep it up you will succeed, may I post a link to my blog on this hub? This is great writing.
I would be honored, Rebecca. What a lovely comment after a particularly difficult yet smoke-free day!
Hi, im new - and need readers! I think you would enjoy my hubs! Check them out. I also write a smoking diary!
Hi amykristina-I'll check out your hubs after congratulating you!
Best of luck with this Laurel. I know how hard it is, and expensive these days too. Hope you do well. x CC
Thanks, my sweet! It's a bitch.
Hello, came by to check on you and read Diary III. Hope all is well. Hope you are also going out a lot, now that the weather is nice - for nice walks etc.
Regards.
Thanks so much, Lady_E! I'm on it! I mean the 3rd installment's on it's way soon.
Thanks so much for your support and kind words!
Kudos to you, girlfriend! More power!
Aww, habee-thanks so much for reading!
I just love the name of your hubs. Most importantly I love the fact that you are quitting. You are doing an awesome job. Congratulations and thanks so much for the update.
Sage
It's a joy to see your name here, Sage! I appreciate the words.
Well done Laurel! It's so good to hear that you're doing so well with this. It really does give me hope to say the least. My dad quit cold turkey (when I was a wee lad) and the only thing that he would rely on to extinguish his cravings was drink a glass of orange juice or eat a tangerine. If he didn't quit back then, he wouldn't be alive today for sure.
Again, Congrats Laurel! We knew you'd do it!
Dohn
Thanks again, friend! That's interesting about your dad and OJ/tangerines. I drink iced tea with orange wedges pretty much all day long.
Vitamin C?
good luck I have someone who can relate and he still can't find the way to take the first step. With God's help you will make it I know
So good to see you, Sue. I thank you so much for your comment!
It's a hard road, but I'm taking it day by day.
Sorry it took me so long to return, had to finish most of my coursework (all I have left is getting my website published correctly and a 'final' in Dreamweaver)
Have you found a bakery yet? The Smells are absolutely yummy!
My 'smoke waves' are fewer and fewer every day and are almost completely gone, although I had a very stressful day this past week where I really, really wanted a cigarette. I convinced myself a cigarette wouldn't do me any good! lol
As a matter of fact I was in a bakery today! Smells, tastes, all are wondrous.
Then I went home to take in the aroma of my newly budding rosebush. Wondrous!
But it is a daily battle!
Rafini, I am so happy for you and as to your studies-rock their world!!!
Happy Mothers day lorlie, I know you're a greta MOM< Maita
Well now! Not only brave, decisive and determined, but with a wonderful turn of phrase as well. VERY nice piece, if I may say so. And I have answered your question about Dean:-)
Happy Mother's Day, Maita-thanks so much for your sweet words!
De Greek-I blush at your comment! Off I go to see your response. Thanks for the visit!
hello wanted to say'give up',but dropped the idea,'cause it comes from inside or some real close one can make you do that.
Thanks for coming by, suny51!
I do hope you are doing well with this, and I really appreciate your concern for me and the sentiments too. Much love hun, CC
Thanks so much, CC, for stopping by-you're one in a million!
lorlie, YOU GO GIRL, hummmm I really need to clean my car really good like that. Keep busy and focused on feel good projects, which is a great idea! I'd stay away from that phone line help, robotic transfers thingy, that sounds like it would make you want to smoke. You smell better all ready...;) Thanks and Peace :)
Thanks Katiem2! Yep, I don't like the phone 'help' or the emails, so I unsubscribed. How did you know? They DID make me want a smoke; they really pissed me off!
Well, I'm off to smell some lovely roses that have just bloomed-I'm not the only one smelling better these days! :-)
Cool - the first 30-45 days the worst - then from 30/34 - 90+/- the urge is not as hash, until around 90 days. So many return to smoking around the 90 day mark. There is a clinical reason why! From 45-90+/- days the tar in your lungs is breaking down and re-floating through your body.... around 90 days that stops and you have a short but none the less a second with drawl (cold turkey) feeling. Not to worry - it is a short one, and if you are ready for it - it is a breeze to get through.
Fresh air breeze and power to ya!
Neil
I saw a poster at my doctor's office the other day that floored me, Neil. It described the healing process once you quit smoking. Thanks for this comment-it further amplifies what I read!
just checking to see how it is going. . I come back here to see and try to get that same desire to want to quit. . glad to see you are taking the time to smell the flowers. . hopefully I will be right behind you soon!
Hey wavegirl22! I'm doing pretty well and am working on TD III. It ain't easy, this quitting, but I am still at it!
You go girl! Well done for quitting and good luck with staying off those horrible things. Freshness forever!
Thanks so much for the comment, MPG! It's an uphill battle all right, but every day is new, thank God!
Are you still on the wagon?
Boy habee, did you ask THE question of the hour for me. No, I'm not. I must write installment #3, but am not sure how to approach the thing. Thanks for being blunt, my friend-I'm not happy with the relapse, and I've been at a writing standstill. Everyone has been so incredibly supportive-it's hard to let the community down.
Ouch.
Set backs are ok, don't be too hard on yourself. It will happen when its meant too. Sending you good luck.
Hi Laurel, just stopped by to check on you. So sorry this is still such a struggle for you. Give yourself time to collect your thoughts and and the writing AND willpower will come. I've witnessed firsthand the way you encourage others, me included! You've got it in you! Cold turkey, or one less cigarette at a time, you can do this, my friend! ~ Laura
Great hub. I stopped smoking 3 days ago.
MPG-thanks for the good wishes!
lalesu-I think one less at a time is going to be the key for this smoker...you're a lovely one for coming by!
Fluffymetal-YOU GO GIRL!
I feel your pain from my days long ago as a smoker. I quit cold turkey in the cockpit flying with other smoking crewmembers. It seemed in those days more folks smoked than did not so it was a bit challenging. I had quit many times before but failed. This time was different from the get-go; no marching bands, no parades, no statements of courage and dedication. Nope, none of those...just quiet determination. Long after succesfully making it to the other side, I realized what was actually different about this time versus others was that my brain had actually decided that it wanted to quit. For once we were all in harmony. That was 20 plus years ago and I still have some physical lingerings...sucking on toothpicks, or drinking straws, holding a pencil in cigarette-fashion between my fingers. The good thing is I recognize all of those for what they are and I know that I really have no desire to smoke again although I do admit to a rare cigar with a glass of brandy here and there. Good Hub Lorlie and good luck with your goal!
Great to see you here, Wayne! I believe your comment absolutely 'nails it.' All the promises and meaningful oratory-even to oneself-mean little if the brain is not ready to do this thing. I've hesitated writing the third installment because I am not fully ready, apparently.
I do hope one day for an 'ahah moment,' but until then, I suppose I'll just keep trying!
Be strong Girl! Thank you for the diary!
Glad you stopped by, Micky!
Soooooo...r u smoke free now??
No, ma'am.
Sorry to admit this, but it's just not the right time.
As John Lennon said, "Life's what happens when you're busy making other plans." You know?
Thanks for asking, though!
Wow left my first comment way back when on your first hub and now just finished this one before I continue on to hub three. I am proud of you for putting the butt down and leaving the vapors, smell and ash behind you. No more having to stand outdoors in all temps to puff on a fag that is harming your entire body. Lungs especially. I am excited for part three...bye will drop my comments there to. Peace and hugs
I sure hope you're not disappointed with part III, saddlerider. It's such a struggle and one day, I will prevail.
Thanks for coming by!
Shame, lorlie6, that answer of yours - no ma’am’ – made me winced. I’m in the same boat. Always trying to quit…. Just to disappoint all those who have cheered me. Aweful! Next time I’m not going to tell them. I’m looking forward to read your hubs.
It's a terribly tough road, Martie.
I think keeping silent is the best way, too. You build up the quitting too much by announcing it to everyone, don't you think?
Thanks for coming by.
Lorlie6, I guess we tell everybody because we desperately need support/help. We actually beg them to do the quitting on our behalf. And so sad, we’ve got to do it all by ourselves. I bow to those who quitted cold turkey, but I am sure they were/are not really nicotinics. Sooooo, let’s get positive.... of course with the support of our best friend/enemy. One day we'll make it.
Hear, hear! I never thought about it that way, but you're right, we do beg them to do the quitting for us.
Insight extraordinaire!
Thanks.
Green Lotus Level 6 Commenter 2 years ago
Good going laurel! You're fantastic..and you have a clean car. I think it's great that you're keeping this diary ;)