Letting Go...and Getting Back: When a Beloved Cat Returns
76The Most Recent Miracle
Since my beloved cat, Rocky, came back into my life only 2 days ago, it got me thinking about loss and 'letting go.' After a 2 1/2 week absence, I had come to the conclusion that he had perished. He is 15 years old, very skinny, has 3 legs, had to endure sub-freezing temperatures, but overall in fair health. But come on, 2 1/2 weeks? Somehow he managed to survive this ordeal, but I had accepted the probability of his passing. In other words, I 'let go' of his presence in my life, and was at peace with this knowledge. Not happy, but willing to accept his absence. I thought that his life had perhaps been long enough, and his time had come to simply wander away.
Our Common Legacy of Loss
It is not a unique experience to experience loss throughout life. Our lifespans as human beings presuppose such sorrows, and with each misfortune hopefully comes wisdom. This is our lot. How an individual copes with these tragedies is, certainly, a personal affair. At 53, I've had my share of heartache, and I hope, some small fragments of growth.
My losses began early in life: my father died when I was 8 years old. This life-changing event altered the course of my life, and I am still in the process of letting him go. Perhaps this is because he died when I was so very young, and at the time, had none of the modern psychological support systems in place. Denial was the common reaction to death, and children were not allowed to grieve properly-I did not attend his funeral. Closure, as they call it these days, was therefore never achieved, and to this day dream of his return. These dreams were more frequent when I was young, but they still persist.
I realize now that such dreams were a form of magical thinking, hearkening back to a book I read as a child, Madeline L'Engle's A Wrinkle in Time. The protagonist, a child about my age as I read, finds that her long-assumed dead father has in fact been working on a top-secret project, and he returns. Certainly if a book told this story, it could be true! And so it went.
Enter Heartbreak
Throughout our lives, break-ups with lovers are common. We are sure we will never survive these losses, however the vast majority of us do. Our inner strength and tenacity comes into play when we least expect it, and friends and family support us-most of the time. Personally, many of these dramas played themselves out, my life continued, and I continued to grow as a woman and a human being. Some form of suffering seems a given in the human condition, and we generally meet these challenges courtesy of unknown forces within or without.
Unimaginable Returns
As I mentioned earlier, I have the benefit of age (never thought I'd call age a benefit!) when looking back on these troublesome times. Maturity calms us down, calls on us to reflect with both disappointment and contentment on our pasts. And often during personal reflection, there are obvious patterns. These tend to be expressions of our personalities, yet here I wish to write of events as close to serendipity or divine intervention as I can possibly imagine.
In a recent hub of mine, I told of my love for my husband, Anthony. What I did not touch upon were the troubles and estrangements that occurred over the last quarter century.
http://hubpages.com/hub/An-Unlikely-Affair
Though ours was a true and strong love, Anthony was only 18 when we were wed, and after a few years, we chose to separate. He-and I-needed to grow up. But throughout this period, we remained in contact not only because of the mutual love of our son, we were simply still in love. Now I see this quite clearly as a grown woman, content in our friendship and marriage. It is still amazing to me that we are together after so much difficulty and pain.
The return of Rocky, on the other hand, is sufficient for me to believe in divine intervention. My relationship with God has taken quite a beating over the years, however this Christmas miracle has given me a renewed faith in the spiritual. I have no doubt that other wonders await, and I must admit, I can't wait!
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I understand that completely, UW. I have not matured as much as I would like, but perhaps a bit of the child is intended to remain!
Hey Laural,
You and I are so alike when it comes to things we have been through in our lives. However, I still have both of my parents. It must have been hard losing your dad just at the age of eight years old. The other difference, and this is the big one, is that you remained friends with your first husband, because you shared a son and were both still in love. This is where we are very different because I could not possibly be able to love a man who used me as a possession, while we were married, as well as causing me to fall and subsequently miscarry the baby I was carrying just before my 5th month. After this time, I was not able to carry another baby to term, and even though my greatest wish in life was to be a mother, it tragically never happened. I could not forgive him for that for the longest time, but with therapy and counselling over the years, I learned that in order to get on with my life, I had to learn to forgive in order to forget, not easy at all. Like you said family and friends all help us to get through these difficult times, I was lucky too when Richard came into my life and enriched it in more ways than I can count, if you know what I mean. Take care and God Bless my friend BB x
I loved this uplifting tale. I am so happy for you and for your dear Rocky. A big welcome home for the holidays. What a great gift and positive sign for everyone!
Beautybabe-Thanks for your story, although that must have been terribly painful to endure. I am so very glad that Richard is there for you!
Green Lotus-I appreciate your wonderful words, and yes, it really is uplifting, though I didn't really see it that way as I wrote!
A lovely, thought-provoking hub and I'm so glad that Rocky returned to you.
Our cat, Erica, who came out to Spain with us, just disappeared a couple of months after we came out here and it's awful not knowing what became of her - I still feel guilty for not just re-homing her back in the UK as I'm sure she would have been a lot happier than being uprooted from her familiar surroundings :(
Oh, I am so sorry about Erica, Suki. I know I would have felt that way about Rocky had he diappeared. I did have that happen to a cat of mine named Kitty Hawk, and it was one of the most painful things I have ever gone through.
Lorlie-
What a beautifully written story-and a happy ending all round.
How I love happy endings!
You are lucky you got your cat back. In 1986 our beloved cat Tiger disappeared, but two years later we saw him driving home. We went to the house where we saw him, and the man claimed he had adopted this cat when he had lived in Washington. That may have been the case, but he came to Tiger when I called him, so I have a feeling it was him. We decided to leave after the man told us that because after all the cat had been there for two years, even if it was Tiger. He seemed cared for, but to this day I still wonder if that was him. Tiger was a very unique cat, and not one your would see commonly.
Wow, Sweetie Pie-that's crazy...and heartbreaking. I'm so very sorry about Tiger. I know how that horrible feeling when they don't return-I've been a cat person all my life.
Hi Lorlie, I am so pleased Rocky came back to you in time for Christmas, and don't give up on him yet, when I worked at the vets we had a cat as a patient that was 23 years old.
23??? Wow, I am impressed. Rocky has gone through a sort of shock period, but has once again become the big cat who take nothing from nobody. He is truly himself again.
Glad to hear it Lorlie :)
This happened to my family once with one of our dogs. Some kind of way he seemed to have gotten lost when dad took him on a hunting trip, couldn't find him any where; but sure enough 2 weeks later he just wandered back into the yard, as though nothing had happened.
Great Story, and I'm happy Rocky made it back home :)
Isn't it amazing? I think the entire family went through a period of shock, even the cat!
So happy to hear of your dog!
What great news! I'm so glad Rocky came home. It will be a Merry Christmas after all. Your writing is excellent, by the way. Good work. Very expressive of the human condition. I enjoyed reading this thought provoking article.
Great story, and I do luvs a happy ending! lol
Ah, habee-so do I!!!
Wonderful story well written! Thanks so much for sharing.
Love and peace
Tony
Thanks for visiting, tonymac-I do appreciate it!
I am so happy that your Rocky returned to you. Yeah I too learned about losses early on in life. I wasn't quite 8 when my daddy died. I did attend his funeral and it was not the first either as I had attended several Uncles' funerals preceding his, all cancer victims. Happy New year with you loving family and kitty and dogs too.
Ah, Rawlus, such deaths change us throughout life, do they not? But, as you said, Happy New Year is here-now!
am happy you got back ROCKY, Happy New Year to you and your family Maita
Thanks so much, Maita-the very same to you!
Life has hit you with some harsh blows starting at a very early time in your life. You are such a beautiful woman Lorlie. I enjoy reading every word in your stories, thank you so much for sharing them with us. ~Sabrina
You are already a very special friend, Sabrina, and I am grateful we've run into one another on HP!
I like your writing very much. I love the raw honesty and the way you share yourself with us. Thanks Lorlie6 for another excellent hub
Thank you, brightforyou, for your words. They mean alot.
Good article, keep it continue , i wish to agian visit at yours pages. thanks
Lorie,
Beautiful little article. I, too, believe in divine intervention.
Jen
Thank you, Jenna, for stopping by.
Very nice descriptive. Rocky is back anyway, fine.
And he's doing just fine!
I was very touched by this particular story - I am still relatively new to this but feel so much more comfortable writing here and to be honest, I do not really understand the difference between HUBing and BLOGing...I believe that many of us overcome struggles not just because we need to but because there is something inside us telling us that we are here for a reason and we better make it count. I admire your courage and while I have not yet HUBBED on anything to do with my childhood since it is painful and dark, I tend to write around those things, if you know what I mean. Thank you for having such a beautiful voice.
Very inspirational....and moving hub. I loved this line, ' And often during personal reflection, there are obvious patterns...' that is so true. In retrospect, every loss, every moment in our lives has a purpose...a pattern yes. Wonderful read...:)
TheWriterIVY-Sorry it's taken me so long to respond to your lovely comment. I have found Hubbing to be far different from blogging, since Hubbing involves community, and blogging is-at least for me-private. I hope you have found your niche!
myownworld-Thanks so much for your attention to my lines! Seriously, though, I do appreciate readers who understand what I am trying to convey...You're a doll!
What a touching hub. Thanks for sharing.
Thank you, samboiam. Your words are invaluable to me!
Lorlie, loss is a terrible thing yet so inevitable. You wrote a beautiful hub on the subject.
Dolores-thank you for such wise words-it is inevitable and so very difficult.
I appreciate your stopping by,
Laurel
Your hubs are always so full of meaning and emotions. I am glad you got a special miracle when your kitty-cat came home.
Tammy-your comments are always so meaningful to me! And yes, my miracle is sitting on my lap at the moment. :)
then you have many great and exciting things in store for you- good luck
Thank you, Joe...I appreciate your kind words.
Lorlie6, I just read your thread on the forum. It was nice of Rocky to come back for Christmas and a few extra months together.
Thanks so much, Betty-I still cry a little every morning, but it's getting better.
Laurel
Your hubs always make me think. You share honestly and that is a treat. It certainly doesn't hurt that you write them well. I enjoyed this one very much and I think you have many wonders still in store.
Duchess-you're a dear for stopping by. Thanks for your words!
Laurel
Laurel! What a completely beautiful Hub! I have tears in my eyes. You are so wise! And your attitude is to be admired! This Hub was written with such style! Really wonderful, and so well said! My Micah was eight when Russell, the boys' dad, passed away. So I am seeing the effects of his death on my sons, not just in my own heart. This Hub helps me alot. Now I'm sure I was right to let Micah attend his dad's memorial service. I wish I could push the green button over and over again!
Cathi-You are such a doll for leaving glowing commentary, and I do appreciate it. But more than anything, the fact that you were wise enough to have Micah attend the service is enough for me. Closure is so important.
I am so sorry Russell had to pass, but I know he'd be proud of your choices.
Laurel
Thank you for saying that. Each one of our sons has dealt with their lose in their own way. I just hope I have helped them to accept, and to look forward to seeing him again in paradise. I know they have helped me.
Very touching story. I'm so glad Rocky came back and I'm wishing you happiness. :)
Thank you, Elena-I'm glad you came by.
Hi Lorlie6 :-)
Glad to see the cat came back.
Recently lost one too and i still miss him.
I have an old dog which you can see in my pic.
All the luck in the world to you :-)
There's nothing so wonderful as an old dog!
Thanks for coming by!
It seems no matter which of your hubs I chose, I am never disappointed. Your mention of "A Wrinkle in Time" had me smiling. It was my favorite book as a young girl. PS Glad your cat made it back.
Thanks Steele! I blush, my friend. And remember that book I so dearly loved as well-I sort of took the story into my heart! Did you read "The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe?" How about "The Phantom Tollbooth?"
Ah, memories!
I just randomly chose to read your hub and i am glad that I did it. I lost my father when I was twelve. I was greatly loved by him. In my dreams he would always return after along journey. Eight years ago as I was reading the scripture Colossians 1:10.. about how the Father loves us so much that he willed his Son to die so that we inherit all that he has in store for us. As I meditated on this something broke lose. I got a new father that day and was able to let go of my earthly one. I want to record my appreciation for this well written comment on life. Glad that you have a good ending.
Thanks so much for your words, sofs. It is so difficult to lose a parent at such a young age, but as you say, there is another Father above.
I appreciate your stopping by.
Death is not something that has touched my life. Still, I have learned alot about it from the suffering of others. Thank you for your hub.
Thanks sarmack, for your comment. God chooses His time to have you lose people/pets in your life, I know you are learning much from others.
Take care.
Again just like all your other hubs lorlie6 brilliant!!
Thanks for visiting, Eiddwen!
lorlie, what a thoughtful, well written, and insightful Hub. So refreshing compared to so much bunk that's out there about "dealing with loss" and "dealing with stress". You're probably far better off without "benefit" of all the platitudes and so-called "wisdom" that comes out of "today's field of psychology (especially people who have only cursory understanding of it in spite of a lot of reading"; because what you've had is the benefit of finding your own way to where you are, rather than be led astray by people who often don't have a clue about how to find one's own way through the day-to-day/year-to-year realities of loss and difficulties.
You're right. There are often comebacks. And when our loss has been great, and there can't be a comeback; there will always be wishing there could be.
Thanks for your 'thoughtful, well written, and insightful' comment, Lisa-really. I agree wholeheartedly with you concerning the 'McPsychology' that is preached and followed without much thought at all. It is disheartening and oh, so prevalent.
Hope in the face of loss is a daily struggle, but a human characteristic that must be nurtured.
Thanks so much for your visit.
Lorlie...I saw your name and immediately, I wanted to see how you are and what you're up to. I checked out hubs and chose this one. wow am I glad I did. Your writing is so honest, so unassuming and real. It is so easy to read as your story unfolds. No wonder you have such an awesome and loyal following. What a great cartharsis you've done for your readers as well as yourself. We can relate! I can relate! Vulnerable and straight forward...wisdom mixed with introspection...this is a masterpiece of the human experience. Really wonderful. I needed to read this today...which is why in the middle of a warm, sunny California day, I'm inside reading your hub. Messages and reason abound here in these words.
Thank you.
Lucky Cats,
I am honestly stunned by your comment.
Seriously.
I'm not sure how to respond to such glowing praise-it's never happened before.
I keep re-reading it and am so impressed with YOUR words, that it has virtually overwhelmed me.
Thank you more than I can possibly say...
You are one extremely talented and kind person who has managed to grace me, an often pompous and high-minded individual, into complete and sincere humility.
This, my friend, is quite the accomplishment!
Laurel
Uninvited Writer Level 4 Commenter 2 years ago
This was a very touching hub. The fact Rocky came back is very heartwarming and reminds us never to give up. I'm 53 too and sometimes I feel that I'm not as mature as I should be, little slights still hurt me.