A Grandmother's Guide to Pregnancy: Some Tips on Coping for Any New Grandma
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A Road Formerly Traveled
Twenty-two years ago, I became a mother. It was a wonderfully magical time, and my memories are strewn about on my walls and tabletops. I gave birth to one son by cesarean section and never did it again. Aaron was an easy child to raise who stole my heart from the beginning-a charming towheaded boy.
It's now August, 2010, and my only child is 2 weeks away from being a father himself. He and mama-to-be, Christine, live close by and I am grateful for the opportunity to perform grandmotherly activities, however I have little more than an inkling what they may be. What I've been doing over the past 9 months is getting to know Christine, watching her stomach swell. While it's strange to see a young woman in love with your only child, it's also strange to think that they had-and continue to have-sex. I think I'm finally getting over it. She's a hard-working 20 year old who is determined to make her way in this world successfully. More power to her, I say; she is a very talented artist and personally, she is a wonder.
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Built-In Babysitter for Quinn Alexander Kutsoginis?
Quite a name, eh? But I digress...Since we live so close to one another, I expect to be providing childcare quite often. I am curious, though, how I will 'take' to Quinn. Will I feel the same emotions I felt for my son? Probably not, since I will be sending him home nightly with his parents, which I consider quite a plus. He is not my child-a mantra I must become familiar with. When the time comes to discipline the boy, I wonder what my reaction will be to their parenting styles.
Hold the Presses!
Well, it's Thursday, August 26th, and the little guy's decided to make an early entrance. This hub was fairly boring, actually, as I reread it today, because as a suddenly imminent grandma, I am full of energy and excitement. Okay, so here's the scoop. At about 1 a.m. last night my son woke me from my nightly drool, saying that Christine thought she was in labor. He needed to use our truck to get her to the hospital and told me he would phone with any news. At around 10:30 this morning, he called. She is in labor, is having contractions, her cervix is 3 cm. dilated, but it hasn't 'dropped.' Never heard of such a thing. I haven't even Googled it yet. Anyhow, the hospital thought it wise to send her home with an Ambien until she sees her regular doc today in about an hour.
Needless to say, grandma can't sit still. Unfortunately, she has no choice-Aaron has the family truck.
Writing While Twiddling my Thumbs
So, I wait. And I am a shitty waiter. I think I should be with her, but who wants her mother-in-law breathing down her neck? This is not my delivery! Thank God! Think about it, Laurel, really. This is going to be one hell of a night. How should I act? This is exactly why I titled this hub as I did, because grandmas go through it, too. Grandpas too, no doubt. I won't be in that sort of earth-tilting-off-its-axis pain, but instead I'll be watching Christine grind through it. Another waiting scenario that absolutely thrills me. I will be taking "To Kill A Mockingbird" with me, but I know I won't read it, I'll be too busy worrying.
The Circle of Life
Some of you have read of the loss of my precious dog, Birthday, 2 days ago. I had to have him euthanized-he had no life left in his eyes and was ready to go to sleep. While I still mourn that dog, and probably will for the rest of my days, the roller coaster that is life has hit me square between the eyes. On Tuesday, a death, come Thursday, a birth. I am one of the tiny minority of people who have never seen "The Lion King," but have some idea of the lyrics of "The Circle of Life." From what I understand, this is a perfect example.
I intend to see that movie...when I have some time.
Update
Well, we can all be assured that this little one will be quite like his father-he will tend to be on the tardy side. Christine was in the hospital for around 6 hours before they sent her home with the sleeping pills, Aaron went back to work and I waited. And waited. Oh, and some more waiting. It's about 10:30 p.m. now and everyone, particularly Cristine, is waiting. Come On, Boy! But he's chosen to retreat for God knows how long. In the meantime, Gramps, myself, Aaron and Christine have been frantically doing baby laundry, touching up the new paint in the nursery, and giving the rug a shampooing. But I think we're beat, all of us. I think it's time to go to sleep-until the phone rings!
Update II
Quinn made his entrance into the world on September 1, 2010! At 8 lbs. 4 oz. and 20" long, he is quite the 'big boy.' All went smoothly, considering-Aaron barely made it to the delivery, but he did attend. Today Quinn is 6 days old and I have had the opportunity to babysit in order to let mama get a shower in and to let the parents get out of the house for an hour or so.
Being a grandmother is going to be one hell of a ride, and I intend to enjoy every minute of it.
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Oh, craftdrawer, I REALLY like that-grand. Hadn't thought of it! I'm so happy for you...and for me! :)
Wow, GRANDMA! Hey, you are absolutely wonder-filled as a grandma. I already want you for my grandma!! You are so open and so ready and so chomping at the bit. So excited for HIM and for Mom and Dad as well and so alert about your boundaries, but don't get too caught up in that. Let someone tell you when you are overstepping, sometimes better than assuming you will be!!
Thought I was a grandfather once, but when Spencer was about six months old, it was very apparent he was no relationship at all!! I think that story is in my hub about Grandfathers.
You are going to be so GRANDMA, don't give it another thought. I can tell You're ready in Nike terms. Just do it! That's all that is left!
Vern
Aw, Vern, thanks for showing up!! I'll be your grandma, too, if you want! Why not? The boundary thing is interesting, I personally have few, but my family lets me know when I'm going over the line. I butt my self in so much, it seems...
But anyway, thanks again for coming by-I'm going to look at your Grandfather hub as soon as I get back from the 'delivery.' :)
Congratulations Grandma! Wish you many years of fun with your grandchild. :)
And my condolences on the passing of Birthday. I seem to have missed that news.
Thank you, Feline Prophet! And again, thanks for the thoughts of Birthday. He was one in a million.
Oh my! How did this pregnancy occur?
Well Grandma how are things now? This takes me back to my first experience of being a 'mamgu' or 'grandma'.I was only 34 at the time but still with many of the same thoughts as you. Now 15 years and 9 more grandchildren later it is still as wondrous as ever. Enjoy every minute as I'm sure you will.
@Micky Dee-I have absolutely NO idea! But I SHALL get to the bottom of this, believe you me.
@Eiddwen-well, mamgu :), we're all still waiting! It's Friday morn and still no sign of the boy. I suppose he wanted to remain in the best place of all for a while. Bless you with so many 'grands!' I can't wait, but he's in charge at the moment.
Congratulations! This is most exciting! This new baby is quite lucky to be born into such a loving family.
Why thank you, Simone! The little one is a tad late, I'm carrying the phone around with me like a fool!
Having a ball with the anticipation, however.
I am the grandmother of two wonderful grandsons. I can't believe how strong my love is for them. I didn't know I had that much love in me. Congrats Grandma and enjoy, they grow up so fast.
I can't wait to see how much love is within me! Thanks for stopping by, Gypsy48, I really appreciate it.
Beautiful, beautiful Hub - Congratulations. You must be the proudest Mum, okay lets make that Grand Mum. :)
Best Wishes, Elena.
I'm excited for you too having never had the experience! Can't wait for your next installment!!XXX I will say there is something in the stars as it has been a roller coaster of a week for so many people myself included. We're all in for some good news :)
@Elena-bless your heart for coming by, and, well, scaring me for a second! Grand Mum is all I want at this stage of the game! :)
@Green Lotus-it has been quite the week-I hope you have positive things coming your way, too. The little one is still in absentia, remaining in the best place of all. I don't think I could help but keep you informed! :)
Oh how exciting and yes, you are right - FULL CIRCLE this week and how good for you! I still feel so bad about Birthday but can't wait to hear the news!!! You'd better let me know. Nothing like a baby to get you full of life.
I know!! Akirchner, the circle is exhausting, but it's thrilling in a cosmic way, I suppose. I don't think I'll ever stop mourning Birthday, but I am giddy about this child!
No baby yet, btw. It's 'Christine's birthday' today-isn't that weird? What a combination.
Love to see you here-I won't keep the news to myself, I promise!
The Circle of Life. Isn't it amazing that when one door closes, another opens? I'm sure Birthday is somewhere - watching and cheering you on as you await the little on!
I think it is fitting and lovely that your first grandchild will arrive so soon after the loss of your beloved Birthday. Congratulations on becoming a grandma Laurel!
@Shalini-It is amazing, and makes me wonder about the transference of souls. The doors you mention are always slightly ajar, don't you think?
Thanks for the visit!
@sunflowerbucky-Thank you so much for the congrats, now if only the little guy would decide to get here! :) Patience is a virtue-especially for Christine. Poor gal can't eat or sleep at this point. I do remember those days, it's strange to watch in someone else...I guess I'm just powerless at this point-and I'm not good with powerless, as I recall, neither are you! Control freaks like us must back off! Crazy!
YEs both of my kids were early and that was probably a blessing as I am NOT a big fan of waiting!
I KNOW!!! :)
What a lovely hub...Congrats once again for being a grandmum...you're such a sweet 'daadi ma' (in hindi) grandma - the litle angel is really lucky... :) loads of lu, hugs and kisses to both grandmum and grandchild :)
STILL waiting...but thank you for your words, diyabhatt. I have a question for you-I was married to an Indian man a long time ago and he called his mother 'ba' and his dad was 'bapuji.' Is that proper Indian? He was raised in Uganda, so maybe that's where he got those names.
Bless you for coming by!
He must be a Gujarati (Gujarat is a state in India) Gujratis call their mothers - Ba and fathers 'bapuji'...correct! Its proper Indian... thanks for ur blessings :)
Okay, then, I'm not nuts!
Your not nuts at all:)
Thanks so much for the diagnosis, drcris! Yehawww! Just kidding-I don't really think I'm nuts, got over that self-absorption a long time ago.
Take care!
Congrats....
Nice hub.
Thanks so much, jacobkuttyta!
I'm glad you stopped by.
Hi Lorlie
Congrats hope everything goes well for your family.
I am going to be a grandad for the first time in November and can,t wait for that day to come.
You know my history and I would never have been trusted to look after a baby,but hopeful that is all behind me and I will be able to enjoy being a grandad
Congratulations on your imminent grandpahood! It's all so unbelievable.
I know what you mean about trust, selrach. We have histories, both of us, to live down, in a sense. Proving ourselves worthy of our children's trust is huge. You've done it, I've done it!
Miracles, we are.
Congrats again!
You are doing the right things Laurel. I have seen too many grandmothers 'muscle' in on the birth and make it more about them than the baby. Birthing is a time for parents and grandparents need to be near for support. You will feel a bit differently in terms of a grandchild. You will feel a certain freedom that says you don't have to raise this child per se. Therefore, you and him can have fun and you can even spoil him a bit. You just don't want to get too far over the line to the point that everyone knows that you are the one doing the spoiling! LOL! We really enjoy our little 3.5 yr old granddaughter (our only one) who is coming down from Colorado to visit us in a couple of weeks. She has turned into a little person with a big personality and she is just a joy to be around especially as a grandparent. Enjoy and thanks for sharing. BTW...have not been around to read. I cannot endure the loss of your dog. We lost our little "Lexi" three years ago at age 8. The vet wrecked her trachea while doing a dental cleaning. Since then I just cannot endure the loss of a pet without losing it myself. My heart is with you though! WB
Thanks Wayne. I'm so sorry about Lexi. I understand not wanting to go through it again by reading someone else's story. It's been just over a week now, and I miss Birthday terribly, though I know it was the right thing to do. In Lexi's case, the error of the vet is unforgivable. I can't imagine such a thing.
Just 2 days after our loss, my grandson began to show his presence in false labors. He was finally born day before yesterday, September 1, 2010. Makes me think of reincarnation, you know? ;)
But you are so right, Quinn is not my baby, he's my son's, and I am keeping my distance out of respect to their new little family. Congratulations on your little Colorado gal! She sounds adorable. And at that age, kids are at their very, very best.
Thanks for popping in!
lorlie - the new parents are so lucky to have a grandma who lives close by. And so is the new baby! What a wonderful time. I don't have any grandchildren yet and am promising myself to repeat (when the time comes) over and over to myself - the mother is in charge. I will try to keep my mouth shut. Which will be very hard for me, haha.
You bet it's hard, Dolores! I am a certifiable control freak, and I am zipping my mouth at all times, although Christine is doing a stellar job!
Thanks for the visit.
Of course I am late on my comment to this wonderful brilliant hub, you are now a proud grandma and already have changed a shitty diaper:0) Welcome back to parenting:0)) Now you become the babysitter when the kids want to go out and have some time to themselves.
However I know that you and grandpa will delight in this little bundle of joy that God has brought into both your lives. All the best and be the best grandparents you could be and I know you will be. Have fun and really enjoy and spoil that little tyke. Peace and hugs.
You know what, saddlerider? Shitty diapers are somehow endearing-charming, almost! Just kidding, actually, but the whole thing is quite marvelous, especially the part about giving him back at the end of the day! :)
omgsh....what wonderful news. i had no idea! i apologize for my late comment. you are going to be a very cool grandma, i can tell. i am so glad you have this happy event to look forward to :)
like yours, my son was a great baby as well. even if he hadn't been, motherhood would still have been the tremendous joy that it has been, even with all those soiled diapers, late-night feedings, sitting up at 2 am with a sick child, etc. i wouldn't trade it for a mint of money.
someday i will be someone's grandmother too, and i am sure i will have the same questions as you. i prolly won't be here at hubpages but i'll look this up nevertheless ;)
bless the new mommy and daddy, and baby. have fun!
p.s. do rent the lion king. it's a great film, and so apropos.
I'll rent it on your recommendation, cosette. Today, but after I get my Whooping Cough shot! I had no idea so many babies had died already here in California-Lord, pretty scary stuff.
Anyway, I'm so glad you stopped in. I think I'm pretty cool-;)-relieved the mom and dad yesterday for a while, and I finally got to feed him. It's such an ingrained, intuitive experience-no hesitation on my part at all.
Yeahhh!
See you soon!
WOW how bout that... can you believe it your a grandma, grand mother, granny, grammie all of these words are key words for Grandmothers guide to pregnancy. This is by the way a fantastic hub and keepsake for everyone in the family mom, dad, baby and grandma
Aha! Thanks for the visit and the tips, katiem!
Take good care.
congratulations thee on becoming a granny! You are have the time of your life now, and totally there! You are the best granny around right now hehe! from one granny to another, it only gets better! ~ aloha ~
Ah, Sa ge, thanks for the sisterhood-or shall I say grannyhood! You're a doll for stopping by.
It's really kind of you to leave such wonderful words.
I appreciate them.
girl, you are appreciated so much :D
Thanks again!
you are making one awesome grandma-- keep us posted...
I got the chance to babysit him for a full 9 hour shift yesterday, Rebecca, bonding with the little guy. My grandma body's aching today, but that's okay-it was well worth it. He's quite the beauty-thanks for the visit!
This is such a good hub to read. It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy and looking forward to when it's my turn. BTW your profile pic is so cute! You look like a mischievous kid! :)
Aww, shucks, SilverGenes! I am sooo happy to take on this new role, 'GRANNY Laurel.' Your turn will come, I'm sure-well, only if you've got a kid yourself! :)
And hey, thanks for the comment on my picture-it does reflect my attitude pretty accurately. He he!
Take care and thanks for reading!
"Come all without, come all within, you've not seen nothing like the mighty Quinn." Yea Laurel you did it--(well Christine did it) but you did the heavy lifting waiting work. Congratulations to a sweet doting Grandma and to your kids for their minor part in the occasion.
I'm sure Birthday is happy too--all dogs go to heaven don't they? Cavorting with his new body and chasing all over and stopping only long enough to lift a leg to the Pearly Gates. =:)
Nants ingonyama bagithi Baba
God, Winsome-what an awesome comment! Hey, are you lurking around my house or something? How did you know I was singing that song to the babe just last night??? Hmm?
Crazy thing is the parents in question barely know the music you quote-how they came up with 'Quinn,' I'll never know. Thanks for understanding how terribly challenging it is to WAIT! Jeeze, what we grandparents must endure! ;)
And thanks, really, for your charming description of Birthday's new existence. I just hope he doesn't hump St. Peter's leg! Though the saint probably gets that all the time...
Thanks so much for coming by!!!
Hi,
I came back to check if the baby had arrived and I am smiling away after reading your update.
Congratulations!! to you and the Parents. Quinn is a beautiful name. This is definitely a September to remember for you. :)
Thanks for coming to check, Elena! Yes, he's gorgeous, I must say...I posted his photo in the forums-after asking his parents, of course-under "Introducing Quinn Alexander Kutsoginis..." Do check out his lovely photo!!!
September has always been a month of celebration-my father, grandfather, myself, and now Quinn are September babies!
I think I'll try to put that picture on this hub-thanks for the idea!
Take care!
A wonderful story I can relate to. Two years ago, my then 20 year old son announced I was going to be a Grandma. I was less than amused. I, too, spent the next nine months getting to know the girl who would deliver my first grandchild. Even with all the tension through the pregnancy, I was asked to be in the delivery room. That changed everything. Witnessing my grandchild's first breath melted away all the doubts and fears.
Now, both 22, they are good parents, and I cannot get enough that precious baby! I wrote a story about the transformation of all of us through this experience.
Congratulations to you! And welcome to the club!
Thanks so much, MGirl! I totally understand what you relate in your story and am so glad you're happy in the new grandmother role!
I am proud, indeed, to join this wonderful club!
Thanks again!
Congratulations! My mom says that being grandma is better than being a mom. My oldest is 20 and not married yet, but I am truely looking forward to being a grandma "someday".
I already think your mom is absolutely right! I've some 'wisdom' now that I didn't have as a mother. I am grateful for this chance to get it right!
Thanks for the visit.
Number one...please see Lion King. Number two, always love a great birth story! thanks for the mail, great to hear from you!
I will, SJ! Promise. I'm glad you enjoyed the story and the mail!
hello lorlie6 , your hub is interesting and I enjoyed by reading it so much.
Dear friend, I know I'm a bit late commenting here... but by now you probably realize I'm a little ...quirky.
I LOVE this Hub! And I love you.
I think I'm back!
real handy tips about the pregnancy and it will be very much useful for the females..
Hi Kevin-I am glad that you enjoyed the story!
Thanks so much for the visit.
Cathi! My dear friend, it's wonderful to see you here! No pressure on you to write, but I love seeing your name from time to time.
Great to see you!
Trsmd-I hope that males will find this useful as well! Thank you for stopping by!
mind you the hands off experience might be a tad better that the hands on experience- from what I recollect none of my three deliveries was something I enjoyed!
I only had one delivery and was never very eager to repeat that 'performance'! Thanks for the comment, C1W.
craftdrawer Level 3 Commenter 21 months ago
I became a grandma at the age of 45 and now my grandson in 1-1/2 old and is the most precious gift I have ever received. I can never get enough of him. It's so much different than being a mom but I now know why they call them grand ....